Games Are Finally Art With Release Of Collected BioShock Titles
UPDATE: In our original post, we erroneously implied that Wax Adams was a human made of flesh, blood and bone. It has since been brought to our attention that he is, in fact, a...
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Pokemon Go Server Stability Issues Continue As Server Admins Too Busy Catching Pokemon
Players of the global smartphone phenomenon Pokemon Go have vented their frustrations today at Niantic Labs staff, who were seen frolicking through a local park in search of magic monsters to catch while the servers...
YouTube Star Engages In Unethical Behaviour Despite Zero Training, Oversight Or Accountability
YouTube fans are shaking their heads in disbelief today, unable to come to terms with the fact that a rigorous system of doing absolutely nothing to prevent corrupt, unethical behaviour somehow failed to prevent...
Explosive Red Barrel Shortage Worsens As Fuel Prices Continue To Rise
Evil terrorist masterminds have been filing for government assistance in record numbers as the rising price of fuel makes it harder and harder for antagonists to meet the minimum explosive red barrel requirements. With...
Team Of Six Widowmakers Somehow Loses Game Of Overwatch
The competitive Overwatch scene suffered a surprise upset today when a team composed entirely of Widowmaker snipers lost a match without capturing a single point. The match was over in four brutal minutes, with...
Battlefield 1 Doubles Down On Realism: Female Soldiers Out, Dysentery In
Millions of gamers are marking November in their calendars, eagerly looking forward to squatting over a hastily-dug latrine trench and shitting blood violently until they pass out and die. The newly-announced feature comes as...
System Shock To Finally Be Playable After All These Years
Enthusiasts of the game System Shock are excited to move from concept to reality with the final, eventual, much delayed launch of the game, which has never been released before. System Shock narrowly avoided being released...
New MOBA Paragon Confident Of Losing To League of Legends, Dota
As new MOBA Paragon builds up towards its open beta, developers Epic Games have shared their hopes for a quick and clean failure. “Four months is about as long as we think we can drag this...
Revealed: The Updated Rules For When Women Are Allowed To Be Offended Online
Women everywhere are rushing to familiarise themselves with the new internet guidelines, which aim to clarify when they and are not allowed to get upset. “Women seem to get upset over the slightest thing,”...
Players Who Criticised Mass Effect 3 Ending Will Be Unable To Import Saves To Andromeda
Players who are looking to bring their Mass Effect 3 universe into Andromeda when it launches next year will be excited to learn that they can “get fucked”, according to BioWare’s Aaron Flynn. Using...
