Several muscular Disney employees have broken into my house, sedated me with a powerful tranquiliser, and are now sliding me feet-first into a Star Wars-brand woodchipper. Within a matter of minutes I will be...
Gamer Annie Waters has finally locked down the elusive remaining element of her schedule for the week, after she was inspired by the ‘Eat, Sleep, Game, Repeat’ shirt she was wearing. “It was the...
A Reddit AMA with Valve’s Gabe Newell has taken an awkward turn, with the bearded CEO casually outlining his plans to “milk” Steam users. Responding to a question about Valve’s priorities in 2017, Newell...
There’s only a few short months until Mass Effect Andromeda crashes into our lives, and that means only one thing: fucking. BioWare’s space opera masterpieces are known for delivering the goods, and the fucksmiths...
President Trump’s promised crackdown on illegal immigration has begun, with authorities reporting the successful arrest of an undocumented Italian man in New Donk City. The man, who was doing cash-in-hand work as an unlicensed...
The nameless protagonist of The Last Guardian is in high spirits today as he remains stuck under the butt of the sleeping cat/dog/bird creature Trico, who sat down 37 days ago, thoughtlessly crushing him....
Sources within Platinum Games have revealed that the major reason behind the surprise cancellation of upcoming action-RPG Scalebound was that Microsoft kept sending them links to Horizon: Zero Dawn trailers and saying “this pls”....
Explosives expert and disabled mobility advocate Jamison “Junkrat” Fawkes has today lashed out at wankers everywhere, saying he feels “hurt and betrayed” by their failure to wank him into the recently-released top ten list...
CES 2017 is over for another year, and that means there’s only one thing left to do — rank our top gadgets so that we don’t have to deal with the constant gnawing fear...
Cloud Imperium Games have confirmed that their plans to not release Star Citizen will continue into the new year, saying there will be “no change” to their current policy. “We will not be making...
