Unbelievable: Google Stadia Will Launch With Zero-Latency ‘Game Disc’ Option

It seems that with every day that passes, another bit of news comes out that shows Google’s much-touted ‘Stadia’ service might not be everything it’s cracked up to be.

First the billionaires at Google told us that we would need an unbelievably fast internet connection that many people simply won’t have access to. Then they told us that each unit contained a microphone and would sell our personal data to the highest bidder unless we shouted “Google Stadia, Don’t Sell My Data!” loudly every thirty minutes, and allowed a recording of our voices to be sold onto the popular Taiwanese game show ‘Help! Google Has Consumed Me!’.

Now, incredibly, it seems that Stadia users who want an optional “zero-latency” package will need to shell out for a “Google Stadia Disc Drive” attachment. Can you believe these people?

According to the untrustworthy tech giant who I am forced to beg for mercy every thirty minutes, the “Google Stadia Disc Drive” will accept proprietary “Google Stadia Game Discs” which can be “placed into the disc tray” and “read” by some kind of internal mechanism, rather than streaming the whole game live from the cloud.

By reading the game data from the disc, Google claims that it has reduced latency to “practically zero”. Leaked specs for the device on Reddit explain that the game disc data will be used to “provide additional ones and zeroes where required, combining with the high-speed connection to provide a flawless experience similar to a home console.” Meanwhile the rumoured ‘Blood Drive’ attachment, which would reportedly drain the blood from your body and sell it onto interested parties in exchange for lower latency in The Division 2, is nowhere to be seen.

Sure, it sounds like a massive technological breakthrough – a home streaming service that also has zero latency somehow – but what’s the catch? How are they really achieving this? Google may think “discs” are the way of the future, but I think all gamers need to be cautious before embracing this new invention. Thankfully, Yahoo’s upcoming console, the Yahoo Srsly, looks set to plug the streaming gap left in the market by this optional extra drive.

We reached out to Google for further comment, at which point they banned us from their site, effectively ending our ability to live a public life.

If you were to dare raise your voice to the Google overlords who watch over us and determine the value of our lives based on our search preferences, what meek utterance would you fail to make an impression with? Let us know in the comments!