Cash-Strapped Chris Roberts Attempts To Buy Milk With Spaceship Pre-Orders

Star Citizen creator and space visionary Chris Roberts is no longer welcome in his local Wal-Mart after growing angry with the manager’s refusal to take a series of digital spaceship pre-orders in place of local currency.

Describing the decision as “short-sighted and backward-thinking”, an irate Roberts recounted how he handed over a voucher for a Kruger Dynamics P52 Merlin Fighter and was “flabbergasted” when the cashier handed it back.

“I couldn’t believe how rude she was being,” said Roberts. “But I didn’t want things to get awkward, so obviously I tried a few different options, your basic Aurora LX, your Cutlass Black, that sort of thing.”

“I even tried to pay with an Aegis Dynamics Javelin. And I wasn’t even expecting change! Some people are just so unreasonable.”

Wal-Mart is refusing to budge on the issue, saying that Roberts is welcome to return to the store and pick up his milk whenever he is ready to acknowledge the currency of the realm. Such a return seems unlikely however, with Roberts assuring reporters that the Safeway across the street will “surely be more open-minded”.