Hundreds Dead After Developer Thoughtlessly Signs Epic Games Store Exclusivity Agreement
The gaming world is in shock today, as the news breaks that yet another indie developer has caused the deaths of hundreds of people by carelessly putting pen to paper and signing an exclusivity agreement with the Epic Games Store.
Fun Farm developer Katie Grepsen is now in custody and being questioned by the authorities for her role in the incident, which reportedly caused lightning bolts to spear out of an empty sky and incinerate hundreds of Steam gamers where they were standing.
A preliminary investigation has concluded that the victims, Real Gamers who are now dead thanks to the greed of this unbelievably careless indie developer, were simply minding their own business and going about their day, many of them consuming brands like good citizens, when disaster struck.
“It was awful,” one bystander told Point & Clickbait. “I was waiting in a queue at the coffee shop, and in front of me was a guy wearing a shirt that said he would ‘rather be gaming’. Without any warning, an enormous bolt of lightning blasted through the roof of the shop and exploded him, leaving only a pile of ashes and a tiny Fun Farm business card.”
“I just think the Fun Farm people could have handled it a bit better,” they added.
Gamers everywhere are now calling for Grepsen to be forced to put Fun Farm on Steam as a way of apologising to the families of the hundreds of people she carelessly slaughtered, but this indie developer is holding out.
“I knew exactly what I was doing when Epic offered me that exclusivity agreement,” the awful human being told us. “The contract clearly stated that ‘by signing this agreement, you will cause the deaths of hundreds of people and it will make you a bad person’.”
“I deliberately signed it, knowing the damage and devastation that my actions would cause, and that countless innocents would lose their lives as a result of my malice and greed. That is what happened.”
The official Epic Games Store page describes Fun Farm as “a game about having fun on a farm.” We will publish our 9.5/10 review once the game finally comes to Steam, where True Gamers can finally play it.
