Game Of Thrones: Five Predictions For Next Week’s Season Finale
Well! We’re still reeling from the events of this week’s episode – it seems like there are just so many storylines all coming together at once, we can barely keep track! This week we saw some of our favourite characters like Daenerys, Tyrion and of course Bob The Meat Man finally get some closure for some of their long-running arcs. Wouldn’t you love to be able to go behind the scenes when they’re planning this stuff?
After this week’s episode, our brains are buzzing with ideas about how the series can possibly wrap everything up – read on for our top predictions! (Sorry for the slight delay this week, our youngest knocked over the TV while playing Wii Sports and I had to try and program the VCR from memory.)
1. Wilson will take the Iron Throne, and he deserves it
With Kings Landing in flames and an uneasy peace established, it’s only natural that a leader is chosen who everyone can agree is wise, just, and experienced. And of course, there’s only one true contender for the one that is promised, he who shall unite fire and ice: Wilson, the wise but impartial advisor to both Lord Taylor, and for some reason also to actress Patricia Richardson, who will occasionally seek him out. Wilson’s character has really developed over this season and we have to congratulate showrunners Benioff and Weiss for introducing him, even if they didn’t manage to finish casting the bottom half of his face. Still when you’re working without George R. R. Martin’s source material to back you up some things like this are to be expected! Will he offer Lord Taylor the position of Hand of the King, or are his hands already full with the most important job of them all – being a dad?
2. Lord Taylor will use the Binford 9000 to rebuild King’s Landing with even more power
The ultimate purpose of Lord Taylor’s mysterious device remains uncertain, but this Hound (whose face thankfully remains unscarred, no matter how hot my wife’s world-famous goulash was last Friday night) is ready to make a prediction: Tim is racing to the defence of Cersei (who I haven’t seen in a while, but last week’s recording was pretty sketchy, I assume she’s still there) and he’s bringing her a gift that will make Kings Landing even more manly and powerful than ever. Once he is finally free of the shackles of his simpering familiar Al, who I frankly believe is holding him back, Tim will be free to deploy the Binford 9000 in the city where it will add at least one V8 engine to every building. This will make it much easier for Wilson to take stewardship of this new “manopolis”.
3. Mark will help Drogon get his first job doing a paper run
Westeros is a brutal place and it’s not fair that children don’t get to have the innocence that my own kids have enjoyed – but that’s no excuse for Drogon not pulling his weight when it comes to helping out around the house! He’s Dany’s youngest son, and while it has been lovely to see him andLord Taylor’s youngest son Mark have getting along famously, now that Mark has picked up a paper round to earn some dollars here and there, I think it’s safe to say that he’ll help his friend Drogon do the same. If only my youngest would think about doing something to earn her pocket money for once! Love you sweetie!
4. Jon and Dany will agree to go on Tool Time
Once everything is sorted and – fingers crossed – everyone is living happily ever after, there’s only one thing left to do. Jon and Dany, who my wife says reminds her of the two of us, will need somewhere to heat up their honeymoon. And where’s hotter than the set of Tool Time, Lord Taylor’s bizarre but highly compelling pantomime show that he insists on performing for his peasants. Fans online have no doubt speculated about the pair traveling to Dorne, or returning to the sunny plains of Essos – I’d read them myself if I could figure out how to get Reddit to work on my old laptop – but having the pair on Tool Time just makes good narrative sense. It’s not clear exactly where the Tool Time fiefdom is located, presumably somewhere west of Westeros, but that’s an adventure for another book! How are those coming along, anyway?
5. Al will duel Tormund for Brienne’s hand – and win
Nobody could fail to see the chemistry between Richard Karn and Gwendoline Christie this season, or the smouldering hatred growing between Al “The Board Game” Borland and Tormund Giantslayer! Now that the pressing matter of the war has been dealt with, the real battle can begin – which of these bearded giants is worthy of Brienne’s affections? Given how Al has been training under Tim’s talented tutelage all season it’s hard to see Tormund standing a chance against what my family is calling “The Flannelette Fiend”. We can’t wait to see how it all plays out!
Well! There’s so many ways this could all unfold. Make sure you tune in for the season finale next week – this one is going to be massive! Share your predictions in the comments below.
