EA Announces Upcoming Deep-Dive Article About What Went Wrong with Star Wars Game They’re Going to Cancel

EA has ended years of speculation by announcing that a new deep-dive article coming out soon will explain exactly how they fucked up the production of a new Star Wars title that will never be released.

The game is called Star Wars: Far Far Away and is, as of writing, an ongoing co-development effort between “all the good parts of all the studios (EA) devoured.”

“It would have been the ultimate Star Wars experience”, EA spokesperson Jonathan Tugboat said, checking his watch. “Development is… yes, it’s still going, and looking promising, despite all of our demands and mismanagement. The cancellation of this thing is really going to make waves.

A new article will be published in December detailing the excruciating schedules the various teams were forced to work, the lack of communication between the enormous publisher and the developers that ultimately led to crippling feature creep on an unstable engine, horrific work conditions, and the eventual, upcoming cancelation of the game.

“We’re anticipating that this will be a great opportunity for the journalist writing the piece”, Tugboat said. “It’s going to be a great article. A lot of our people are going to give amazing anonymous responses. The ones we unceremoniously make redundant might even use their real names. We’re all looking forward to reading it.

“The movie Titanic would be pretty boring without the iceberg”, he added. “Two hot people fuck in a car. Big whoop. If I wanted to see that, I’d play Team Sonic Racing. We provide a valuable service to the wider gaming community by facilitating these disasters.”

Star Wars: Far Far Away is due to be cancelled in September.