Bobby Kotick Offers Olive Branch, Promises To Play VR Simulation Of The Life Of One Of His Underpaid Developers

Activision-Blizzard CEO Bobby Kotick has extended a peace offering to his workforce only days after massive and sweeping layoffs shook the company, promising that he would spend one hour playing a VR simulation of their stressed, underpaid lives. Wow!

Kotick, who will take home compensation of $28.6 million this financial year, pledged in a company-wide email that he was “very keen to see a vertical slice” of what it’s like to know that you could lose your job any time.

“If the project works out, we may look at pivoting into VR development in a more involved capacity,” explained the genius leader.

“We may need to do another round of layoffs to free up the resources for that, but that’s just how it is – there’s not a lot of money go around.”

Kotick flagged that any such VR simulation could “get creative” by including other, compelling activities such as ‘going to the doctor for carpal tunnel injury’ or ‘missing your daughter’s birthday’.

“Of course it would be irresponsible to our shareholders to allow this simulation to be developed on company time, so you’ll need to work on it at home before I play it,” Kotick added.

Other board members have suggested that the VR project may offer an “unprecedented chance” to influence the direction of the company.

“History shows that there is absolutely no way of negotiating with your boss, especially in a collective or unionised fashion,” said President and COO Callister Johnson, who is on track to receive $11.2 million in compensation this year.

“Bobby’s great VR idea really is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for our hard-working team.”