True Courage: This Man Is Marathoning ‘Punch Yourself In The Dick Simulator’ To Own Feminists

It takes a lot of guts to stand up for what you believe in – and that’s something local gamer Dwight Allen knows only too well.

While other people are keeping their heads down and walking around with perfectly healthy but cowardly dicks, Allen is putting his hand up… and then bringing it down hard into his own groin.

Allen wasn’t always this way. This humble folk hero says he used to be just like you and me – a normal guy, who would never smash his own dick into a messy pinkish pulp.

But unlike you and me, when fate came calling upon Allen, he knew that it was time to step up.

After the developers of Punch Yourself In The Dick Simulator were targeted by vicious SJWs and censorious feminists, Allen knew that he had to step in and set things right.

Now thousands of people are tuning into Allen’s Twitch stream to watch those foolish feminists – and Allen’s dick – get absolutely wrecked. Talk about inspirational!

Allen says he never intended to be a hero. For this ordinary gamer, he just knew it was about a simple choice between right and wrong.

“When I saw feminists saying the game was ‘problematic’, that’s when I knew it was time to decide what I stood for,” explained Allen over a rhythmic background sound somewhat reminiscent of a ripe tomato being crushed.

“I did it!” wheezed Allen, doubled over in pain and gasping for air. “I unlocked the… alpha male… achievement.”