South Park Marketing Team Struggling To Find Somebody Offended

The pressure is on Ubisoft’s marketing team to deliver a strong launch for the upcoming South Park RPG The Fractured But Whole, but time is running out to deliver on a key plank in their launch strategy: somebody who finds the show offensive.

With an entire generation of people growing up alongside South Park and now old enough to have children of their own, each subsequent South Park release has made it more and more difficult to find somebody who thinks an animated turd is the height of indecency.

Now as the show enters its 20th year and any toddler with a smartphone can quickly find a picture of a horse’s penis, marketers are wondering whether or not South Park’s key brand position as “the most offensive show on TV” is still viable.

“This shit used to write itself,” complained one marketing manager. “I’ve resorted to ringing Catholic churches to see if I can host an event during evening mass but they all keep telling me they’re big fans and that they can’t wait to play it.”

Plans are now being drawn up for a ‘last resort’ strategy of covering a bus with Fractured But Whole advertising and then ploughing the bus through an orphanage, but executives are hopeful somebody will write an outraged opinion piece before then.

Meanwhile, hardcore series fans are excited for the October launch, with fan Jaime Wallace saying he believes the game will be “more confrontational than ever”.

“Haha, butt sex,” Wallace exclaimed while watching a gameplay video, his tone of voice and facial expression unchanging. “I love it. They aren’t taking any prisoners here.”

“Lol,” he added half-heartedly.