Far Cry 5 Villain Puts Finishing Touches On Rambling, Insane Monologue About Nature Of Good And Evil

As Ubisoft gears up to announce Far Cry 5 to the world, the pressure is on for the game’s villain to send in the final draft of his endless, rambling monologue on man’s inhumanity to man.

With E3 2017 only three weeks away, the as yet-unnamed antagonist is desperately racking his brains for the best way to make sure players understand that he performs evil acts, yet views them as good, highlighting the relative nature of morality.

“Let’s see… ‘What we do here may be confronting, but we’re building a better world‘… no, too cliche,” muttered the villain. “What about ‘Each life you take brings you closer to the true path – my path‘? No, that’s been done.”

Point & Clickbait understands that the villain is particularly anxious about the opening scenes, wondering if he will be able to memorise all 15 minutes of the unskippable dialogue he is scheduled to deliver.

“So much is riding on that scene,” he explained, fiddling with his notes nervously. “You’ve got 15 minutes to achieve that delicate mix of intense charisma with a bubbling undercurrent of psychosis, then you have to let the player go and hope it sticks while they’re off stabbing a bison or whatever.”

There was a short pause as he picked up his phone and dialled the Ubisoft production manager, asking if anyone had talked about “the definition of insanity” before.

“Oh, they have? Okay. Alright. No, no, I’ll have something in time.”