“Cultural Appropriation”: Standing Next To Explosive Red Barrels Is “Our Thing”, Say Nazis
Nazi soldier enemies in video games everywhere have issued a statement condemning what they call “cultural appropriation” by other groups of video game enemies, who have “stolen” their proud tradition of standing around dangerously explosive red barrels.
A spokesman for the Association of Nazi Henchmen claimed that video game enemies everywhere had completely adopted this part of their “heritage” in an attempt to “bring a sense of legitimacy” to their evil bases and world domination operations.
“We’ve seen it everywhere, from gangsters, to pirates, to zombies, and even aliens,” explained the spokesman.
“We’re really seeing it a lot with vaguely Arabic people right now. They’ve become very fashionable to use as cannon fodder in video games and so of course these upstart newcomers have decided to just borrow directly from our proud culture of congregating around highly explosive objects.”
“It’s not just something you can put on and take off. This is a part of our culture, it has meaning and significance. When we walk slowly back and forth along our routes, coughing and talking to ourselves, that means something. When we all group up around the explosive red barrel for a chat, that has meaning as well.”
“We’re even seeing some enemy groups letting out our Wilhelm screams when the protagonist guns them down or they are caught in an explosion,” the spokesman continued. “It’s thoughtless and deeply disrespectful to our history.”