Local Man Under Increasing Pressure To Have An Opinion On Pokemon Go
Local man Donnie Lambert has continued his campaign of indifference towards Pokemon Go, despite mounting pressure from friends and family to declare how he feels about the global smartphone phenomenon.
“I guess it’s, like, a thing,” muttered Lambert distractedly as he scrolled through post after post on his phone from people declaring their enthusiastic love or disdainful hatred for the game.
Lambert rolled his eyes as he looked over his notifications tab where several friends had tagged him in posts about the game, ignoring them and continuing on to read the sports scores before closing his phone and standing up to make a cup of tea.
“I mean, if it’s what you’re into, sure,” he said, waiting for the kettle to boil as he looked across the road to a local park where dozens of people were gathered together, with dozens more looking on in disgust. “I guess I just don’t see what the big deal is.”
Behind him, Lambert’s phone continued to buzz, notifying him that his cousin had posted a long-winded and condescending diatribe about how kids these days are missing out on experiencing the beauty of the real world, immediately followed by a sassy meme from his sister expressing disbelief that anybody would be so judgemental about how other people enjoy themselves.
Lambert would not comment on the matter when questioned by Point & Clickbait, saying only that he was “pretty sure he had some biscuits somewhere around here” and “some biscuits with this tea sounds pretty good right now”.
