Female Voice Actor Cast As Gordon Freeman In Half-Life 3

Easily-offended gamers have erupted in hives today at the news that a woman will provide the voice acting for the lead character of Half-Life 3.

Iconic female voice actress Jennifer Hale has already begun recording her lines for Gordon Freeman, with Valve sound engineers labelling her work “easily as good as Gordon’s voice in the first two games, if not better”.

The news that a woman will be providing one of gaming’s most recognisable voices has been met with excitement by many who see it as a step forward for diverse representation, but a spokesegg for the perpetually-outraged GamerGate think-tank issued a statement condemning the move.

“This kind of thinking is extremely dangerous,” insisted the outspoken free-speech advocate. “This is censorship. I understand what censorship is, and this is it.”

“Half-Life 3 will be completely different with a woman providing the voice work for Gordon Freeman. How stupid does Valve think we are, that we wouldn’t notice?”