Star Citizen Backers Insist Playable Alpha Must Be Malware, Delete It

Supporters of the crowd-funded space-sim Star Citizen have refused to download or play the new Alpha 2.0 release, insisting that any kind of playable version of the game “must be a trick”.

Despite multiple Windows Defender scan results, Star Citizen backers are certain that there is “no way” the game they have poured millions of dollars into could actually have produced a tangible result.

Backer Rochelle Freeman said she “freaked out” when she first got the notification that she could download and play a very early, buggy version of the game that she had purchased for $6,890, but that she “was smarter than that”.

“I mean, a playable Star Citizen? They could at least try to make their scam sound believable. There’s no way anybody is going to fall for something like that.”

After the initial confusion was cleared up, Freeman celebrated the Alpha 2.0 release by purchasing another seven imaginary spaceships valued at $100 each, none of which exist yet and may not for several years to come.